Sportress of Blogitude

Off Topic

Off Topic: Guys, Improve The Looks Of Your Bulge’s Bulk With ‘Enhanced Underwear’

Not that I would know – of course (I’m a blogger, duh – you know what they say about bloggers…because I don’t) – but there are many men out there unhappy with the appearance of their package when seen only wearing their underwear, because how many people see you in your underwear on a daily basis? Me? However many people are typically at the grocery store on any given day, but I digress.

Anyhoo, the engineers at British retailer Marks & Spencer have come up with not only a bulge-improving, but ass-lifting models of underwear for all of you package-challenged, saggy-butted blokes out there. Via msnbc:

The two styles — one that provides a lift in the back, and another that provides a little something extra up front — have actually been engineered by M&S technologists (their mothers must be so proud). The bum-lift pant, which costs 15 pounds — about $24 — is constructed to elevate and shape the buttocks for a 20 percent visual lift. The frontal enhancement pant, available for 10 pounds or about $16, has been constructed with a “shelf” that allows for a 38 percent visual enhancement in size.

“Our technologists have worked hard to engineer styles that are comfortable to wear and that give real results,” reads the M&S release. “These pants provide a real confidence boost for men, and we think they will prove popular with our customers.”

Heh. Frontal enhancement. Such a scientific way to describe the results which pale in comparison to what one could attain by shoving a foil-wrapped zucchini down your pants in order to enhance your “power zone.” And no, you don’t use a cucumber. They’re all pimply.

Enhanced underpants help men put up a front [msnbc]