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Off Topic

Off Topic: Potential Darwin Award Winner Mistakes Superglue For Eyedrops…

…and I assume you can figure where the story goes from here.

In any event, there might be a little too much chlorine in this lady’s gene pool. How else can you explain how Irmgard Holm of Arizona managed to mistake a bottle of superglue for one of her half dozen eyedrop medications she has to use due to cataract surgery last year. The burning sensation she felt after she put the uber-adhesive tipped her off.

Via myFOXphoenix:

“The bottles are identical and I am not young anymore, but I am not senile,” says Holm.

She tried washing the adhesive out, but the quick-drying glue did its job and sealed her eye shut. Paramedics and hospital staff had to get it open and wash out her eye before major damage was done.

“They had to cut off the glue substance and it was all hard and in the eye, and I couldn’t even see.”

Sounds like a terrifying ordeal.

Video interview with Ms. Holm follows.

Poor gal. To cheer her up, I have prepared some parody song lyrics to describe her ordeal (to the tune of “Man in the Box” by Alice in Chains):

I’m the broad, dumb as rocks
Cataracts are the pits
Won’t you come and save me, save me

Seal my eyes, can you glue them shut?
Jesus Christ, I’m not a faker
She who tries, will be treated
Seal my eyes, now I’ve glued them shut

I’m the dolt who can’t read
That stings, oh shit!
Won’t you come and save me, save me

Seal my eyes, can you glue them shut?
Jesus Christ, I’m not a faker
She who tries, will be treated
Seal my eyes now I’ve glued them shut

Jeez, was that little exercise stupid or what? Even if it was, it’s still better than gluing your eyes shut with superglue.

Woman Mistakes Superglue for Eyedrops [myFOXphoenix]