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ESPNU College Town: Game For Dorks Who Have No Friends Yet Love College Sports

Finally, an online social game that is appealing to those who find themselves within the societal subset which is comprised of folks who love college sports but tend to avoid human contact because they find legitimate, real world interaction with a living, breathing person completely terrifying. That’s right, launching today is ESPNU College Town a sports-themed social game which can be played on Facebook created by ESPN in cooperation with social games product group Playdom. But here’s the rub: what about my fake Facebook farm and buying people imaginary shots and whatnot? Will I still have time to do those things when I decide they are no longer insanely idiotic wastes of time? I hope so.

Anyway, ESPNU College Town (not to be confused with ABC’s Cougar Town, although I cannot see how an online game and a show whose soleĀ  purpose appears to be to see which female actress on the show can inflate their lips the most without them exploding in a spattering mess of collagen and ass fat), gives losers users “a chance to create and run their own virtual college campus, build an elite athletic program, and compete against their friends for bragging rights.” Sounds like a grand, albeit crushingly lonely, time.

If you like, you can also assume the role of Athletic Director just to see how many ethical and procedural violations you can get away with before your head football coach jumps ship for a cushy job in the NFL. Other features include a library of over 60 university’s “iconic campus buildings, nationally recognized stadiums, mascots, logos and more. As fans gain points and move up levels, sports venues can be upgraded from simple fields with bleachers to state-of-the-art domed stadiums with lights, Astroturf, JumboTrons, box seats and more.”

What say you, Raphael Poplock (what a name!), vice president of games and revenue strategy & development, ESPN Digital Media? Via ESPN Media Zone:

ESPNU College Town presents a huge opportunity for us to reach a broad audience of both casual and hardcore sports fans, and we look forward to rolling out other social games within the sports category. The possibilities are endless when it comes to the creative, sports-themed social games we can produce, and this is only the beginning of what we have in development with Playdom.”

So essentially, ESPNU College Town is like The Sims, just with NCAA violations and the exploitation of the college athlete for profit? Where do I sign up?

Playdom and ESPN Games Debut ESPNU College Town [ESPN Media Zone]