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Wake N’ Blog: Once A Kitchen Knife Failed, Psychopath Uses Chainsaw To Kill His Pit Bull

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• It’s like the goddamn New Mexico Chainsaw Massacre or something. Teddy Sexton, a 32-year-old from Aztec, New Mexico is in jail facing animal cruelty charges due to an alleged incident where Sexton butchered his 2-year-old pit bull while his two children watched. Sexton defended his actions, saying the dog bit his 9-year-old daughter. Authorities learned of the incident after an investigator from the state’s  Children, Youth and Families Department informed deputies that the children were having nightmares about seeing the dog get its head cut off. Nice. [azcentral]

• If you have a daughter (or an effeminate son) who dream to one day be the next Erin Andrews, you just have to buy them “News Anchor Barbie.” [Out of Bounds]

• In response to Kenny McKinley’s death, Woody Paige details his own bouts of depression and how he contemplated committing suicide in 2002 in a column for The Denver Post. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

• ESPN has hired a new piece of sideline eye candy, Marianela Pereyra. [Busted Coverage]

• Oh snap! Skip Bayless said that Dwight Howard plays like a girl. Them’s fightin’ words. [You Been Blinded]

• Are Madden engineers even watching the NFL anymore? [Tirico Suave]

• Yankees right-hander Javier Vazquez plunked three guys in a row last night. [Big League Stew]

• There was a glitch in ESPN’s fantasy football which allowed users to manipulate their rosters at will. Unfortunately, it has been fixed. [TheWizWit]

• For the offseason, the Cleveland Indians are turning Progressive Field into a winter wonderland featuring tubing and skating rinks. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Rufus the Bobcat is getting mighty popular on Facebook. [TAUNTR]

• Phillies fans are lazy. [Ted Williams Head]

• Time for another KSK Sex/Fantasy Football mailbag. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• Dexter McCluster raps about not texting while driving. [Outside the Boxscore]

The Onion Headline of the Day: No One Knows Who Female Star Athlete In Nike Commercial Is