Sportress of Blogitude

Starting Off The Season 0-2 Has Caused Wade Phillips To Develop Insomnorexia

And let me tell you that in the spectrum of made up maladies, Insomnorexia is one of the worst, except for Queerosexuality – especially in Dallas. On the other hand, Constirrhea is pretty bad, too, although I have no idea how that condition manifests itself. Perhaps this is a discussion for another time.

What is important is the horrible effects the brutal start of the Cowboys’ season is having on head coach Wade Phillips’ health.

Via ESPN Dallas:

“Everytime we lose it’s frustrating,” Phillips said. “Everywhere I’ve been, you don’t like to lose. If you’re not in it, you don’t realize [it], but there’s a sick feeling.

“You can’t sleep at night. You’re almost physically sick. You’re sick to your stomach after the ballgame. I am right now.”

Yeah, I suppose having your head resting below the guillotine with only the impulses of a knee-jerk, reactionary, know-it-all oil tycoon are standing in between you and a swift execution would probably make even the most confident, self-assured person feel a bit ill at ease. And Phillips has demonstrated over and over again that confidence is a personality trait he is sorely lacking in.

But at least the beleaguered, bumbling son-of-a-Bum can take a step back and look at the big picture. At least for the time being, Phillips should remember that as of now, he remains a head coach in the NFL, a job coveted by many yet afforded to few. That has to make him happy, right?

“I’m obviously not real happy, snapping at people,” Phillips said. “That’s part of that feeling. But you have to come back from that. You have to analyze what you’re doing, work at what you’re doing. If it takes trying harder or doing harder, that’s what I’m going to try to do.”

Oh. I see. Well, at least he still has Diet Dr. Pepper. And no bouts of Constirrhea. Yet. That’s good.

Wade Phillips sickened by 0-2 start [ESPN Dallas]
(previously at the Sportress: Wade Phillips Is Now Less Fat Thanks To The Elixir-Like Qualities Of Diet Dr. Pepper)