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Sportress of Blogitude

It Must Have Been ‘Take Your Primitive She-Monster To The Colts Game’ Last Night

GAH! KILL IT! KILL! IT!

The above screencap is already making its way across the internets at breakneck speed (KSK, Deadspin, are among the sites who have already addressed this image from last night’s Sunday Night Football game between the Giants and Colts and the being I have named The Beast In Colts’ Clothing), but I would have done a tremendous disservice to my many readers if I hadn’t make this terror-inducing image a permanent addition to the Sportress’ archives.

I mean, look at that poor creature. While I find myself pitying it and the jeers and teasing she undoubtedly has experienced in her tragic life, I am nevertheless curious as to what exactly she is in a biological sense: an evolutionary nod to the origin of our species? The end result of some twisted genetic experiment gone horribly awry involving the mutation of Shaun White’s DNA? Who knows? It’s a real One thing I do know is that thing should probably be kept on a leash when out in public. It’s a safety issue, really.

(image credit)