Sportress of Blogitude

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Wake N’ Blog: Aritst Chicken Has Paintings Sold on eBay, Must Think It’s The Cock Of The Walk

Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, link submissions and cock art to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com. You know what? Forget about the cock art submissions. Way too big of a chance for that term to be misinterpreted.

• A hen owned by Wendy Thomas of Merrimack, New Hampshire is auctioning off a painting created by her dipping her hen’s feet called “Feather Fireworks” on eBay. Bidding opened at $9.99 and all proceeds will go towards rebuilding a playground in Merrimack. Weird. [Yahoo!/AP]

•  Apparently, a high school team in Minnesota has been accused of criminal sexual groping during a celebration pileup this past season. Awkward. [Out of Bounds]

• Jared Allen will kill you with his bare hands…if you’re a bear. [With Leather]

• John Gruden has been assisting the coaching staff at Carrollwood Day School in Tampa. He got assessed a 15-yard penalty for berating officials. I can see that. What do you think, Jaws? [Larry Brown Sports]

• If you need yet another reason to hate Ohio State, check out this white rapper frontin’ for the Buckeyes. [Busted Coverage]

• Sean Avery leaked the third jersey for the New York Rangers. Whatta douche. [Puck Daddy]

• The Detroit Lions are even failures when it comes to picking cheerleaders. [Bob’s Blitz]

• NFL “analyst” Brian Baldinger thinks Ines Sainz was “asking for it.” Hey Brian, I don’t ask to hear your bullcrap analysis but I’m still subjected to it. How’s that fair, you crooked-fingered asshole? [Shutdown Corner]

• Get some much needed tips for your love life with KSK’s Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• Video of kids making amazing basketball shots. [Ted Williams Head]

• Top 10 destinations for Chargers wide receiver Vincent Jackson. (*cough* Minnesota *cough*) [Five Tool Tool]

• An amusing suggested College Gameday sign for this weekend. [Sports Pickle]

The Onion Headline of the Day: NASCAR Struggling To Recover From Yet Another Injury-Free Season