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Wake N’ Blog: Maybe ‘Bongo Jesus’ Is Not Cut Out To Be A Street Musician

Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, links submissions, comments, complaints and dirty limericks to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.

• Wisconsin police said 31-year-old street musician Brandin Hochstrasser, known as “Bongo Jesus,” allegedly struck a man with his guitar after he did not respond too well to a 54-year-old man’s criticism of his performance. Bongo Jesus then bashed the man in the face with his guitar, slammed another man into a wall and wrestled with police before being arrested. You know, I’d like to meet this Bongo Jesus fellow. Seems like an alright guy – except for the barely-provoked acts of violence, that is. [Yahoo!/AP]

• And now, the news we have all been waiting for: Jay Mariotti has been charged with seven misdemeanors, including domestic battery, in relation to that ugly incident with his girlfriend in August. The world rejoices. [Out of Bounds]

• Anna Kournikova is in October’s issue of Maxim. The world rejoices again. [Busted Coverage]

• The creepy superfans were out in full force for a double feature of Monday Night Football last night. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• A high school football coach has been busted for running a prostitution ring. And if that isn’t intriguing enough, you just have to check out Josh’s epic photoshop for the story. Brilliant. [With Leather]

• Congratulations to Rafael Nadal for completing his career slam after winning the U.S. Open last night. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Jets Fan Van! Jets Fan Van! [Ted Williams Head]

• Speaking of the Jets, after last night’s craptastic offensive performance, one Jets fan would now like the team to shut the f**k up. [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]

• You are now entering The Gore Zone, otherwise known as 49ers running back Frank Gore’s ass. I cannot believe I just typed that. [TAUNTR]

• Phillip Rivers, even when the chips are down, still gives 100% in his effort to be the biggest douche in the NFL. [Tirico Suave]

• The top 25 takeaways from Monday Night Football. [Five Tool Tool]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Magazine: The Microfridge: An Essay On This Timeless Dorm Room Appliance By Pulitzer Prize Winning Author Phillip Roth