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What Is It About Cricket Match-Fixing That Makes Me Want To Punch A Donkey?

The oddest part? Despite living half a world away with distinctly different customs and societal norms, Pakistanis have a similar response to whenever an alleged match-fixing scandal erupts in the great sport of cricket: animal abuse. The only difference is that instead of punching donkeys to articulate their frustration and anger, Pakistanis pelt them with rotten tomatoes and slap them with their shoes. Tomato, Tomahto, I guess.

Apparently, there has been some sinister stuff going on lately in the cricket world. Accusations of match-fixing have been thrown about alleging that members of the Pakistani cricket team have been taking bribes for altering the outcome of matches. Beyond that, I can provide no further details because I haven’t taken the time to read up on it. And even if I had, I probably wouldn’t have been able to explain it any better because cricket makes little sense so it is logical to assume that controversy surrounding the sport is bound to be a head-scratcher as well.

But here is what I can adequately explain in spite of my ignorance: Pakistani cricket fans took a bunch of donkeys, labeled them with the names of the supposed match-fixers than proceeded to parade them down the street while onlookers chucked rotten tomatoes at the innocent animals while beating them with their shoes. Makes sense.

One protester’s justification for abusing an innocent animal, via The Guardian:

“These players have let us and the country down. We are already facing so many problems because of the floods and terrorism, and they took away our one source of happiness,” one protestor said.

Indeed. Thankfully, video of the incident is scarce, but I imagine once some surfaces, it will the worst pounding an ass has taken on video since the filming of Anal Intruders 26: Up S**t Creek With A Paddle. Grisly stuff.

Pakistan cricket lovers make ass of players [AFP]
Protesters pelt donkeys bearing Pakistani players’ names with stones [The Guardian]