Sportress of Blogitude

Kooky Columnist Norman Chad Solves All Of Tiger Woods’ Problems With One Column

Nationally-syndicated oddball Norman Chad has made quite the name for himself due to his cockeyed takes on the world of sport, so it should come as no surprise that his advice to Tiger Woods on how to get his game (and perhaps his personal life as well) back into top form would be a tad askew.

It takes Chad awhile to get around to making his point, but he finally sums it all up quite succinctly with the final four passages (via the Cleveland Plain Dealer):

How can Tiger fix it all? Maybe all he needs is a steam and a rub.

Or maybe, like George Costanza once on “Seinfeld,” Tiger needs to do the opposite of his instinct every time: Use the 2-iron instead of the 3- wood. Lay up from the trees instead of going for the green. Have some yogurt for breakfast instead of driving to Perkins.

But if I were him, I’d just take a road trip. No golf, no girls. Spend April in Paris. Go on safari. Read “The Unbearable Lightness of Being.” Rent “Animal Crackers” on DVD.

If all else fails, Tiger could just crawl back to Elin and lie like a dog. He’s had enough practice.

A steam and a rub, some road trips, a quick read and a Marx Brothers movie. Ha. If it were only that simple, right? God bless Norman Chad, that goofy bastard.

Offering some tips for Tiger Woods: The Book of Norman [Cleveland Plain Dealer]