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Wake N’ Blog: Pair Of Proprietors Profit By Pilfering Pretend Patrons Of Pricey Penis Pumps

Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, links and samples of your best attempts at alliteration involving discussions of male enhancement products to

• Two Florida-based companies are accused of fraudulently billing Medicare for over $63,000 for falsified orders for $395 “vacuum erection systems,” including one submission where they charged Medicare for four penis pumps for a female patient. “Both defendants are accused of stealing Medicare patients’ numbers and doctors’ identifications to submit nearly $2 million in bogus bills to the health care program for the elderly and disabled between October and February.” And they thought they were going to be able to pull this scam off? What a couple of dickheads. [azcentral]

• Minor league team holds “Free Tattoo Night,” not a single report of Hepatitis at this point. [Out of Bounds]

• With a provocative title like this, how can you not click through? “Nude, Wet Pat Burrell Once Rescued Aubrey Huff from Doldrums” [Walkoff Walk]

• You can buy sand from the bunker Dustin Johnson made famous if you like pissing your money away. [Waggle Room]

• If Eli Manning would like to not have his face repeatedly bloodied, he might want to get on the same page with his running back, Brandon Jacobs. [Larry Brown Sports]

• A great rundown of the potshots now being taken at Francisco Rodriguez by assorted media and bloggers. [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]

• A walk-0n at Ole Miss is 6’11” and 380 pounds. Yowsers. [Bob’s Blitz]

• Ladies and gentlemen, “The Epitome of Derp.” [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• Cardinals defensive tackle Darnell Dockett took to Twitter to talk some smack about the 49ers signing Brian Westbrook. [Sharapova’s Thigh]

• Video: Jose Canseco hit a home run in his first at-bat during his United Baseball League debut. [You Been Blinded]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Area Man Unsure What To Do With All The Extra Ketchup Packets