Well Suck Me Sideways: The Tiger Woods & Ben Roethlisberger ‘Dumb & Dumber’ T-Shirt

Big Ben: [talking to Tiger] Tell her I’m rich, and I’m good looking, and I have, uh, a rapist’s wit.

No good? How about this one?

Big Ben: I don’t know, Tiger, these places just don’t do it for me. Brings back too many memories.

Tiger: What happened, Ben? Some little filly break your heart?

Big Ben: Nah, it was a girl. Rachel Uchitel. We stayed at a place like this once No-Tell Motel out on Route 31.

Tiger: Uchitel? From New York City?

Big Ben: The same. We had this incredibly romantic time. Boy, I thought we’d be together forever. (sighs) Then about a week later, right out of the blue, she sends me a John Deere letter.

Tiger: That’s cold, Ben. Give you any reason?

Big Ben: Yeah. I called her up. She gave me some crap about me not listening to her enough or something. I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention.

[H/T Waggle Room]