Be The First Morbidly Obese Slob On Your Block To Get The Charlie Weis Scooter!
Are you fat? Lazy? Have no semblance of self-respect and are oblivious to feelings of shame and self-loathing? Then the Charlie Weis Industrial Strength Motorized Scooter is the product for you! It’s industrial strength, so no matter how fat and disgusting you are, this wonder product will suit you well!
Sure, Weis, the new offensive coordinator for the Kansas City Chiefs, has claimed that his scooting around in a motorized cart during training camp is due to a knee injury, where part of his knee supposedly “fell off” (his words), but I think we all know the score here. I mean, look at the guy. There is a good chance Weis has some remnants in his fat rolls from the last time he engorged himself on a bag of Doritos Salsa Verde chips, and those bad boys haven’t been produced in years. I guess what I am getting at is bad knee or not, Charlie Weis is very happy to be chugging along in a motorized scooter. It’s like everything is coming together for the portly coach. All he needs now is a rag on a stick to clean himself with and his dream of complete and utter personification of sloth will be fully realized.
[H/T for image to the incomparable TAUNTR]
Chiefs’ Weis opens up a bit on injury to left knee [AP]