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How ‘Bout Them Castaways? Jimmy Johnson Officialy Named As Contestant On Survivor

The saddest part of that headline? Jimmy Johnson, the former Dallas Cowboys head coach, current FOX NFL analyst and recently (officially)-named castaway on Survivor: Nicaragua actually says, “How ’bout them castaways?” as some point during the competition. Ugh. That joke is about as flaccid as I get looking at photos of the geriatric broads Jimmy so loves to spend time with while getting blackout wasted.

Anyhoo, CBS officially announced the roster of castaways for the upcoming season and sure enough, there’s Jimmy Johnson (above, back row, second from right, wearing some makeshift blue headband or something).

Official press release and Jimmy’s introductory video follows.

Relevant parts of the release issued by CBS (via The Dallas Morning News):

Hit Television Series, Hosted by Emmy Award-Winner Jeff Probst, Premieres on a New Night, Wednesday, Sept. 15

Twenty castaways will compete in a tribal battle of the ages on SURVIVOR: NICARAGUA, when the Emmy Award-winning series premieres on a new night, Wednesday, Sept. 15 (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.

For the last ten years, SURVIVOR has traveled to the farthest corners of the planet and subjected over 300 contestants to the harshest environments. As the next decade of SURVIVOR begins, this new group of strangers will compete on SURVIVOR: NICARAGUA. The castaways will be marooned in a land of smoldering volcanoes, wildlife and impenetrable terrain. They will be forced to work together to adapt to their new surroundings, yet compete against each other to the stay in the game or be voted out by their peers. In the end, only one will remain to claim the million-dollar prize and title of Sole Survivor.

These 20 castaways will be divided into two Tribes of 10 comprised of older competitors and younger competitors. The Espada Tribe, made up of individuals over the age of 40, must prove they have the life experience and knowledge that will ultimately help them Outwit and Outlast their younger competitors. The La Flor Tribe, consisting of individuals ages 30 and younger, will have to use their youth and vitality to Outplay and ultimately Outlast their elders.

So, it’s old people pitted versus young people? Kind of like that show which had “Cougars” square off against “Kittens,” The Age of Love, that,  from what I can gather, had about as long of a run as Cop Rock. Well, the only difference being I don’t plan on watching Survivor: Nicaragua without my pants on…or will I?

Sigh.

Here’s Jimmy’s video.

Good luck, Jimmy. Take care of that helmet, sir. The sand will wreak havoc on your well-manicured mane helmet.

It’s official: ‘Obsessed’ ex-Cowbioys coach Jimmy Johnson on Survivor [The Dallas Morning News]
(previously at the Sportress: What About Styling Gel And Loose Senior Ladies? Jimmy Johnson To Be On ‘Survivor’)