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Wake N’ Blog: Faking An Orgasm Is Nothing – Try Faking A Funeral

Wake N” Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. Send tips, links, erotic sonnets and dirty limericks to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.

• A fake orgasm? Just a little moaning, writhing and breaking out of handcuffs (wait, what?). A fake funeral? That takes a bunch of work and there are many places where even the best laid plans can go awry. That is what Jean Crump, a 67-year-old Los Angeles mortuary worker learned now that he has been convicted of defrauding insurance companies by staging fake funerals by cremating mannequins and cow parts. From an AP report: Prosecutors say she and three accomplices took out bogus death certificates, purchased a burial plot, buried an empty casket and staged a funeral, then billed $1.2 million to insurance companies.” Brilliant plan, except for its execution and subsequent prison time. Yeah. [Yahoo!/AP]

• Mike Tyson claims he made his classic appearance in The Hangover to support his drug habit. I can see that. [Out of Bounds]

• Mike Golic passed the conditioning test Albert Haynesworth has failed twice. But he’s fat too! [Larry Brown Sports]

• Erin Andrews looked positively smoking for a movie premiere she attended last night. [Busted Coverage]

• Brilliant idea, excellently executed: what would Darrelle Revis report to his parents be like if NFL players wrote letter home like kids do from summer camp? [Ted Williams Head]

• This Ike Davis bobblehead rules. [The Slanch Report]

• Women wearing NFL jerseys taking a piss while crouched next to an automobile is becoming an epidemic. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• The top 10 takeaways from NFL training camps. [Five Tool Tool]

• Another enlightening edition of The Sports Snob. [You Been Blinded]

• Wait. There are male cheerleaders out there who are gay? [Bob’s Blitz]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Man Has Mosquito On The Run