Sportress of Blogitude

Rays Reliever Grant Balfour Figures All He Needs Now Is A Lobotomy And Some Tights

In an MLB season already chock-full of examples of wild and wacky player injuries, the one suffered by Tampa Bay Rays reliever Grant Balfour may take the cake as it pertains to head-scratching goofiness.

Balfour will be out four to six weeks after suffering an intercostal strain (rib area) while rasslin’ around with pitching coach Jim Hickey before Friday’s game against the Yankees. I wonder if Hickey got Balfour in a wicked Boston Crab or something or, as opposed to a professional wrestling hold, if   the shenanigans more in tune with amateur wrestling moves.

Grant “The Hurler” Balfour and Jim “The Sticky” Hickey were unavailable for comment, so no word on whether the two are considering a transition to professional wrestling. Who knows? Maybe they could be the next incarnation of the British Bulldogs or Road Warriors. Be that as it may, manager Joe Maddon did address the quirkiness of the injury (via Tampa Bay Online):

“There’s not a whole lot to explain. It’s just a weird, freaky thing that happened. It stinks,” Manager Joe Maddon said before the Rays 5-4 loss to the Yankees at Tropicana Field. “We did what we had to do to counteract it and that was to get (Chad) Qualls as fast as we could.”

“Just kind of a freaky thing, just messing around, pitching coach and the pitcher that know each other well doing some freakish thing, just interacting … something that guys do every day and nothing ever happens. It happened,” Maddon said. “It’s just a freaky, goofy thing. It’s really unfortunate because Grant is so important to us.”

Do you want to know what’s really a freaky thing, Joe Maddon? Two grown men wrestling. Come on, Sporto, level with me. After they finished their wrestling performance, did Hickey slip Balfour the Hot Beef Injection.

Alright, that has little relevance to the actual story, but I wanted to sneak in one more The Breakfast Club reference. Sue me.

Reliever Balfour will miss time after freak injury [Tampa Bay Online]