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When Kenny Chesney, SportsCenter And Idiotic Promotional Tie-Ins Collide

If you count yourself among the population of mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging lowbreds who enjoy both country music and anything that ESPN tells you to like while it shamelessly force-feeds it to you while ignoring what most people actually tune into SportsCenter for – you know, highlights from sporting events – then the August 2nd editions of SportsCenter are going to be Must See TV…if you can figure out how to turn on your television.

You see, on those Very Special Episodes of SportsCenter, for reasons known only by a couple morons in ESPN’s promotions department, Kenny Chesney’s brand new video for his song “Boys of Fall” will make its world premiere. I am sure for all of you Kenny Chesney fans out there, this little bit of news is right up your poopchute alley.

Via ESPN Media Zone:

ESPN will debut the video for award-winning country music star Kenny Chesney’s newest song Boys of Fall Monday, Aug. 2. SportsCenter will air a more than four minute video exclusively at the conclusion of the 11 a.m. ET and 2 p.m. editions (approximately 55 minutes past each hour). The original eight minute version of the video created by Chesney will be available on ESPN.com and ESPNRise.com through the week beginning Aug. 2.

Wait. What in the holy hell is ESPNRise.com? Never heard of it. Does ESPN come out with some new platform new every freaking day? Is ESPNRise.com the site where I can read that “LeBron James In Vegas” story? No? Oh.

As you and I already know, although I have to question the reason why we are forced to know these things, Kenny Chesney fancies himself quite the sports fan when he’s not being photographed very non-homosexually while not wearing a shirt during beach photo shoots. Chesney is so much a sports fan, in fact, he even “tried out” for the New Orleans Saints back in 2008 and has previously made appearances on ESPN before, as seen above when he appeared with Tweedledee and Tweedledum on their radio program.

But the question remains: why, ESPN, why? How does this make sense? Why would any person tuning into SportsCenter want to watch a damn Kenny Chesney video when CMT and Logo are just a click away on the remote?

Boys of Fall is the debut single from Chesney’s upcoming album, Hemingway’s Whiskey, scheduled to be released on Sept. 28. The song captures the spirit of playing and being a fan of football, specifically the moments, details, heart and lessons the game embodies. The video features a montage of Chesney singing the song with high school, college and NFL football game highlights, and various fan, coach’s speeches and football-related community shots.

Aha! I get it. This is Kenny Chesney’s foray into sports-themed crossover video hits, kind of like the video “Walk of Life” by Dire Straits, but a whole lot fancier and much more annoyingly twangier. Well played, Kenny Chesney. Well played.  But I’m not buying what you’re selling, Kenny Chesney and ESPN. Just because you are trying to skullf**k me into submission where I have no other choice but to purchase the crap you’re peddling doesn’t mean I have to do so. At the same time, that Knight & Day movie was totally badass.

No it wasn’t.

Kenny Chesney Boys of Fall Video to Debut August 2 on SportsCenter, ESPN.com and ESPNRise.com [ESPN Media Zone]
Kenny Chesney Practices with Saints; Undresses Injured Player; Hangs with Shockey [Deadspin]