Sportress of Blogitude

Terrence Cody Bitch-Titsgate Update: Ravens Rookie Passed His Conditioning Test!

And before we get into the meat and potatoes of the story (mmm…gravy), no, I have no intention of ever not using the above photo for any post involving the chesty defensive lineman.

Now nicknamed “Cheeseburger” by his teammates due to his huffing, puffing and wheezing efforts yesterday when he failed the Ravens conditioning test and was placed on the PUP list, Terrence Cody, in the short span of 24 hours (or in Cody’s concept of how time is measured, 18 meals), went from zero to plus-sized hero by passing the test. Hopefully, the team did not get him a Dairy Queen ice cream cake to congratulate  him.

Cody, of course, is obviously relieved – and probably a bit winded (via the USA Today):

“Yesterday, as I was sitting to the side watching them practice, I felt bad. I felt like I was letting them down,” Cody said. “Now that I’m back out there, it feels good.”

“I had my family call me and ask me what was going on. I had to tell them,” he said. “I slept on it and got up this morning with a head full of steam and passed it. It was a relief.”

I bet it was certainly quite the relief for Cody. He can now in good conscience and in XXXXX-sized jersey begin his NFL playing career. I can imagine nothing worse, especially as a professional athlete, than failing a conditioning test, which from what I understand only ensures that you are in at least a minimal state of physical fitness.

Don’t believe me? Here’s what the conditioning test entails: running 25 yards, doubling back, resting 70 seconds and repeating that twice. Come on! I’m a lethargic desk jockey and I’m pretty sure I could handle that. And this guy couldn’t do it.

Wait. What’s this? According to the story, Cody failed the test yesterday not once, but twice. Yowsers.

While it is not addressed what exactly transpired between yesterday and this morning which gave Cody the endurance and willpower to pass the conditioning test today, which coach John Harbaugh depicts as going “down and back, down and back, down and back. It’s not complicated (but) it’s a tough test,” it had to be something. Maybe it was shame. Possibly guilt. Or maybe, just maybe, Cody was a little “backed up” and he dropped a massive deuce last night. And we all know how better that makes a person feel, right?

One day later, Ravens’ 350-pound Terence Cody passes fitness test [USA Today]
(previously at the Sportress: Shocking: Terrence ‘Man Boobs’ Cody Failed Baltimore Ravens Conditioning Test)