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For $40, You (Yes You!) Can Watch All The Useless NFL Preseason Action You Desire

I don’t know about you guys, but the thought of watching a bunch of NFL preseason games makes me want to puke…from excitement!!

If it wasn’t bad enough that the NFL holds potential season ticket holders in bondage by forcing them to plunk down their hard-earned money for two stupefyingly ridiculous and useless preseason games in order to procure tickets to their favorite team’s regular season games, now the greedy, money-grubbing brain wizards at the National Football League now expect you to plunk down even more of your money just for the mind-numbing pleasure of watching NFL preseason football from outside your market on its website. Via Michael Hiestand’s always-informative Sports Television blog on USA Today.

The NFL Network and NFL.com, says spokesman Dennis Johnson, will formally announce today that preseason games will air live online for the first time. Through a $40 subscription package, NFL.com will stream 54 games live, not including 11 games on national TV. NFLN airs 10 preseason games live.

Whoop-dee-freaking-hoo and la-dee-freaking da! What a frickin’ steal! Are you telling me that for a measly forty bucks I will be able to go online and watch the epic week four preseason game between the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Houston Texans? That’s gonna be schweet! In this epic matchup, I will mostly be looking forward to the head-to-head battle between Houston’s fourth-string right guard Tom Whatshisname against Tampa’s soon-to-be-relegated-to-the-practice-squad nose tackle Afa Willneverbreakintostartinglineuptasi.

Man, Samoan last names are weird, aren’t they? And kind of long, too.

Joe Theismann, Notre Dame telecasts, a possible fit [Sports Television]