Sportress of Blogitude


Chris Mortensen To Be Sal Paradise To Adam Schefter’s Dean Moriarty Or Whatever

While I greeted the fact that ESPN issued a release announcing that Adam Schefter and Chris Mortensen will once again make their way across this great land to cover NFL training camps in something tWWL is calling “On the Road to Camp” (get it? On the Road? Sal Paradise? Dean Moriarty? No? You really should read more) with much happiness and relief, as it meant that the NFL season is just around the corner, I also took the news with a bit of trepidation and a morose sense of resolute sadness, as it means that yes, Adam Schefter and Chris Mortensen will once again make their way across this great land in Kerouac-ian fashion to cover NFL training camps. The dynamic duo will be on the road from July 29th through August 16th and let me tell you something: it’s going to be brutal. Need me to justify why I’m not particularly looking forward to ESPN’s own version of Dumb & Dumber (“That Jay Glazer’s full of shit, man”), look no further than the below quotes from the two Dharma Bums (via ESPN Media Zone):

“It’s a post-card of America that Adam and I can share, some of it very unpredictable. How did I know I was going to end up in a Wisconsin cheese factory last year during my visit with the Packers….and make a fool out of myself?,” said Mortensen. “Maybe, just maybe, I’ll average four hours of sleep a night. But as Colts’ great assistant coach Tom Moore once told me at 5:15 in the morning, `Mort, you gotta love it!’ And we do.”

“The race – and coverage – is on,” added Schefter. “Mort’s doing the West Coast, I’m doing the East Coast and even Roger Goodell is taking his own trip. Whomever smells worst at the end wins.”

Whoooeee! I can hardly contain my excitement. I am eagerly looking forward to Mortensen making a fool out of himself – again – and Schefter wallowing in his own body odor like it is some journalistic badge of courage.

March on, ye weary travelers of the Road. We will be with you in spirit. Which is a helluva lot better than actually having to put up with these two woodheads.

ESPN’s Mortensen and Schefter “On the Road to Camp”: July 29- Aug. 16 [ESPN Media Zone]