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Soccer

British Rag Calls Brazilian Soccer Legend Ronaldo A Fatty Fatty Boombalatty

Of course, given it was a classy British publication – as we all know, the Brits are far more sophistimicated than we Yanks, especially compared to yours truly – they didn’t out and out call him a fatty fatty boombalatty as I crassly did, they went with a more refined critique regarding Ronaldo putting on a few pounds.

(scans lede)

“FORMER World Player of the Year Ronaldo has turned into a prized porker if these new pictures are anything to go by.”

Aha. Prized porker. Much classier.

Anyhoo, The Sun seems to be quite unimpressed with Ronaldo’s level of fitness as he trained with the Corinthians soccer club. They were kind enough to list the soccer great’s accomplishments before making yet another tongue-in-cheek shot at his expanding waistline.

The Brazilian legend has written his name into football folklore after smashing 15 goals in various World Cups.

But we reckon there’s a fat chance of him hitting the form that saw him become the most feared striker in Europe in the late 90s.

Heh. Fat chance. Well played, Writer for The Sun Guy. Well played. Because he’s fat now, you see. Pay attention, people.

Ron looks a prize porker [The Sun]