Sportress of Blogitude

Blatant Homerism

For The Love Of All That Is Holy, Please Stop Talking, David Kahn…Just Stop

It appears that not only is Minnesota Timberwolves President of Basketball Operations David Kahn hell-bent on completely destroying the once-proud disappointingly  average NBA franchise, it seems he is dead set on becoming the biggest laughingstock in the history of front office employees in any sport.

The litany of deplorable transgressions Kahn has committed against the possibility of the T-Wolves ever becoming a semi-competitive franchise again are well-documented across the internets, so no need to get into them here. But as a former Timberwolves fan (ugh), I would like to take a moment to enlighten my dear readers with some of some Kahnisms that David the Ineptitard busted out during an interview on Twin Cities sports talk station ESPN 1500 (via on the Wolves):

* Michael Beasley smoked too much pot in Miami, but he’s a changed man now. Make that, changed young man.

“He’s a very young and immature kid who smoked too much marijuana and has told me that he’s not smoking anymore,” Kahn said, “and I told him that I would trust him as long as that was the case.”

* On being something of a youtube sensation for a contentious NBA TV interview with Chris Webber from NBA Summer League last week: “He’s kind of a schmuck, isn’t he? Methinks that he spent a lot of time on NBA TV with a former Timberwolves person and he seemed to come into the interview with an agenda. Tough questions are fine, but I felt like was a little defensive about some of the things.”

* European center Nikola Pekovic will be “signed here shortly” and called him a 6-10, 275-pound “real brute” and “almost the kind who’d kick sand in somebody’s face at the beach.”

* Asked about who’d win a game of H-O-R-S-E on a team that seemingly has significantly improved its shooting, he said, “It’d be hard (to pick a winner). We have a lot of good shooters, but I wouldn’t discount Bill Laimbeer. Bill can still shoot it.”

Sweet merciful crap, have you ever seen such idiotic comments from the so-called brain trust of a professional sports team? He picked an assistant coach – a coach, for crying out loud!!! –¬† as the person who would be most likely to win a friggin’ game of H-O-R-S-E!!! What the hell?

And if somehow you have managed to not see Kahn’s interaction with Chris Webber which led to Kahn referring to C-Webb as a schmuck, the embarrassing video follows. But one piece of advice: you may find yourself wanting to cover your eyes and ears during it – it’s that uncomfortably ridiculous.

Awk-ward. And that condescending, Mr. Rogers-esque voice makes me want to jab letter openers into my ears.

On second thought, disregard my plea for David Kahn to stop talking. Keep it up. Even someone as clueless as Timberwolves owner Glen Taylor will eventually grow tired of this nonsense, right? Right?

Jesus.

Kahn on… [on the Wolves]