Sportress of Blogitude

Unsubstantiated Speculation: Michelle Wie Puked On Course Due To Wicked Hangover

Bad news out of France today – but really, is there ever any good news out of that accursed country? – after becoming ill on the golf course during a Pro-Am round at the Evian Masters, Michelle Wie was driven off the course in a golf cart while being escorted by her mother Bo. No word on whether Michelle’s aunt, Luke, was also in attendance.

We here – actually just me as I’m the only one – at the Sportress enjoy peddling in unsubstantiated rumors and irresponsible speculation since stupid sports blogs are not held to any idealistic journalistic standards nor do any of us who run these awful sites possess any semblance of integrity. With that in mind, I would like to blindly hypothesize as to what may have caused Michelle’s untimely case of the urps:

Totally gnarly hangover, man.

Not buying it? Just take a reasonable – albeit capricious – look at the situation. Here’s a young, trophy golf phenom, in the parlance of out times, 20-years-old, in fact, just below the 21-year-old limit which would allow her to legally imbibe on the sweet stuff, according to our great country’s laws. She finds herself over in Gay Paree, where the attitudes on alcohol use are not quite as draconian as they are here in the States. Michelle starts off with a couple of bottles of some fine wine, moves on to a little Absinthe and before she knows it, she’s three sheets to the wind and passed out dead drunk in a gutter near the Seine. I’ve seen it a million times before – such a shame.

Okay, okay, maybe it’s not that at all. Perhaps Michelle is a good girl who wouldn’t allow herself to get caught up in such a sticky situation. Further, she’s under constant, suffocating supervision of her parents – her mother, in this instance – and maybe she just had a bit of a tummy ache. Poor girl.

On the other hand, maybe this is just some weird publicity stunt connected to the latest product endorsement she’s signed on with – Ipecac.

Hey, it could happen. But in hindsight, I guess I’ll stick with the tummy ache hypothesis. She is such a nice girl, isn’t she?

Michelle Wie gets sick on course; pulls out of Evian Masters pro-am [Game On!]