Sportress of Blogitude

JaMarcus Russell’s Attorney Is A Bald-Faced Liar (Or Maybe Just Ill-Informed)

Epic number one overall draft pick bust JaMarcus Russell appeared in court in Mobile, Alabama earlier today and plead not guilty to charges of possession of a controlled substance in connection to his arrest on July 5th when authorities found one bottle of codeine syrup in his home during a search, an item which would have been otherwise used (allegedly) by Russell to get his Purple Drank on.

While pleading not guilty to the charges was well within Russell’s right, after reading the report I am left to question the integrity of Russell’s counsel, one Donald Briskman, Esquire, due to his statements to the press after the former Oakland Raiders quarterback’s plea. To wit (via The Huddle):

Briskman added that Russell will be “getting prepared to play professional football” in the meantime.

I’m sorry, but I have to respectfully disagree with the esteemed criminal defense counselor assertion as to what his client has been up to recently – or at the very least question his understanding of the rigors and dedication required to adequately play the quarterback position in the NFL – because one does not prepare to play professional football by consuming a 9,500 calorie diet consisting solely of Double Quarter Pounder With Cheeses and chocolate milkshakes from McDonald’s.

You see, because JaMarcus Russell is fat and stuff. Burn. But at the same time, subsisting on the above diet could very well prepare you to become a world-class sports blogger. Sure, it hasn’t happened to me yet, but it is my hope one day, the proof will be in the pudding.


JaMarcus Russell pleads not guilty; lawyer says QB ‘getting prepared to play pro football’ [The Huddle]