Sportress of Blogitude

Some Dumb Broad Apparently Doesn’t Care About Ben Roethlisberger’s Uromysitisis

From Steve Spurrier to Wayne Rooney, busting the chops of personalities from the sports world who get caught taking a leak on a golf course has become a time-honored tradition of the drooling, mouth-breathing sports blogging masses. But never has the amusing tales ever rose to level of  someone attempting to file a criminal complaint against said urinator.

Unfortunately for Ben Roethlisberger, he’s Ben Roethlisberger, and the hits keep on coming for the beleaguered Big Ben.

Of course, with all things scandalicious and pee-pee related, TMZ has the digs:

According to the report, a woman named Nan Fowler phoned the pro shop at the Country Club at Muirfield Village around 6:53 PM and complained that a white, tall male — sporting a blue golf shirt and khaki shorts — was “urinating into some trees.”

The report states that Nan was informed by the woman at the pro shop that the person who fit that description was Big Ben. Nan then called police and told them that the NFL star was peeing in public.

Cops eventually arrived to the scene and spoke with country club management — and later determined that no crime had been committed. Sources connected to the investigation tell us cops never interacted with Roethlisberger — because Ben was “long gone” by the time authorities had arrived.

Anyone who has ever stepped foot on a golf course – male or female – are well aware of the fact that men will routinely relieve themselves in some bushes or next to a tree while playing a round. My guess is this dumb broad recognized Roethlisberger and that reporting his affiliation with golf course urination was her meal ticket to some perverse, urine-stained notoriety. Screw her.

In any event, as noted above, since Ben Roethlisberger is…Ben Roethlisberger, perhaps taking a piss on the course is not the best course of action. Might I suggest the UroClub, Big Ben? It would at the very least prevent these kind of sticky situations from developing.

Ben Roethlisberger Named in Urine Investigation [TMZ]
Ah, The Sweet Relief Of Augusta [Deadspin]
(previously at the Sportress: He’s Wayne Rooney, He Wears Tall Socks, He Went Pee-Pee On Some Rocks & Finally, A Product For Those Golfers Who Are Too Afraid To Piss In The Woods