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Jay Mariotti Makes Awful Gloria Estefan Reference In His LeBron James Column

Ha! Get it? Miami Sound Machine, but Miami Scheme Machine instead? It’s brilliant, except it doesn’t rhyme. Granted, Mariotti’s reference to Gloria Estefan’s band tacitly employs alliteration and a rhyme with the word that follows as the tools to make the implication that the fix was in as it pertains to the Big 3, as they are apparently heretofore to be referred to, but it’s overall execution is terrible.

If Stern truly cared about the honor and virtue of his league, he wouldn’t turn his head indifferently and prefer not to know. Rather, he’d investigate with all his resources and might and make sure this is not, with apologies to Gloria Estefan, the Miami Scheme Machine.

Sigh. Just off the top of my head, I can come up with several alternative methods to incorporate a reference to Miami without having to bastardize the Miami Sound Machine. Here are a couple:

  • South Breach
  • The Miami Cheat
  • CS-Lie: Miami
  • Bad Boys III: The King And Us
  • Miami Ruse (in reference to Miami Blues)
  • The Deal World: Miami

Alright, every single of the those are dreadful – nearly as bad as Miami Scheme Machine, but any reason to hammer on Jay Mariotti is a good enough one, right? Of course it is.

Oh, and one more thing: regarding the headline?

Heh. Probe.

Miami Scheme Machine? NBA Should Probe Heat [Fanhouse]