Sportress of Blogitude

Bill Plaschke Is A Poet And He Probably Doesn’t Even Know It

So, LeBron James is neither loyal nor royal, you say? If somebody were to buy him a housewarming gift for when he lands on Florida soil, how about bath oil? Or if a person preferred to buy him a book instead, would it be The Collected Works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle? What is LeBron’s opinion regarding aluminum foil? Is his favorite cut meat entree a London Broil? When he goes fishing, does he make sure to clean his boat motor of any Eurasian watermilfoil? Does LeBron refuse to play bridge if the playing cards are from any company other than Hoyle? Does me taking this bit way too far kind of spoil the point of making fun of Bill Plaschke, today’s journalistic foil?

Fine, have it your way. But answer me this: have you ever heard of something called rape oil? Me neither. What an odd name.

LeBron James looks neither royal nor loyal [Los Angeles Times]