Sportress of Blogitude


Attacks On Olympic Gold Medal-Winning Swimmers On Scooters Getting Out Of Hand

Swimmer, Jenny Thompson, an eight-time gold medal-winner was attacked by street toughs in Boston in a failed attempt by the crooks to steal her scooter. Via an AP report in The Washington Post:

Thompson told WBZ-TV on Wednesday that she was riding in Brookline on Monday night when a vehicle stopped behind her with its headlights out. She says two people got out, punched her, pushed her down and tried to grab her ride.

Thompson held onto the scooter and screamed for help, forcing the assailants to flee. The 37-year-old suffered a cut on her nose and several scrapes.

Police say three teenagers were arrested later Monday night with stolen scooters, and they are investigating whether the teens were connected to the Thompson incident.

What kind of crazy, anarchic world are we living in when a woman cannot ride through the streets of Boston on her scooter without getting roughed up by a trio of hoodlums? I’ll tell you what kind of world: a world where scooters should be banned. Sure, it’s a radical idea, but if Thompson hadn’t been riding her scooter, the criminals wouldn’t have attacked her, right? Yeah, I’m pretty smart and stuff.

Despite my ingenious world-improving ideas, the fact remains that Thompson was in fact on a scooter and she was unfortunately roughed up. Do you want to know why? She was on dry land, out of her element. I refer to it as the Aquaman Effect. I bet a couple of surly teenagers in a paddle boat wouldn’t have even dared to attempt a robbery if she was riding on one of these bad boys. Mainly because those damn aquabikes are ridiculous. Who would want to steal one of those things?

Olympic swimmer Jenny Thompson attacked in Massachusetts [The Washington Post]