Sportress of Blogitude

Arlington’s Department Of Redundancy Department Considering ‘Hooker Free Zone’ For Super Bowl

As has been previously discussed on many occasions here at the Sportress, it is widely known that whenever an event as grand as the Super Bowl rolls into a town, prostitutes will invariably flock and feast upon the horny denizens of the locale like locusts. Well, the shining city of Arlington will be having none of that, good sir (or ma’am – unless you happen to be a skanky hooker, then just move along, Sally).

In a move only an inept, bloated bureaucracy could come up with while “thinking outside the box,” the city council of Arlington, Texas, the location of Super Bowl XLV next February, are contemplating instituting a “Prostitute Exclusion Zone” in areas surrounding Cowboys Stadium. And here I thought prostitution was already illegal in Texas.

Okay, it is illegal, but city council members, who have been concerned about the onslaught of whores set to invade their town for some time now, have decided that instead of simply enforcing the laws already on the books, they will create new and more restrictive guidelines surrounding the rampant sex trade already plaguing the area as follows (via FSSouthwest):

The City Council is scheduled to receive a briefing Tuesday afternoon about creating a Prostitution Exclusion Zone. The ordinance would set boundaries that people convicted of prostitution-related offenses would not be allowed to cross, except in limited circumstances. The exclusive zone would last for one year.

The proposed zone includes a large section of north Arlington, including Cowboys Stadium, Six Flags Over Texas and Rangers Ballpark in Arlington. That area also includes stretches filled with bars and cheap motels that have attracted drugs, prostitution and other crime for years.

So, there you have it. If a person has been previously convicted of a prostitution-related crime, they will not be allowed to cross some kind of boundary for a period of one year. My question is how will they enforce the boundaries? Barricades with barbed-wire fencing consisting of ID checkpoints which will then be cross-referenced to a master list of lawbreakers? That seems terribly inefficient. Skeezy-looking broads will be pointed back in the other direction? Multiple choice exams consisting of answering questions related to prostitution slang? STD tests? There is no easy answer for this conundrum, is there? It boggles the mind, really.

Arlington considering Prostitution Exclusion Zone for Super Bowl XLV [FSSouthwest]
(previously at the Sportress: The City Of Dallas Will Be Attracting A Lot Of Whores Over The Next Year Or Two)