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Blatant Homerism

Twins Pitcher Carl Pavano’s Mustache Continues To Evolve, Remains Totally Boss

Before you know it, that bad boy is going to become self-aware, and when that happens? Hoo boy, look out.

What Twins righthander may lack in overpowering stuff on the pitching rubber, he more than makes up for it with the continued development of his epic mustache. Look at that thing: glorious. a third ‘70s porn star-esque, a third Tom Sellickian, and a rest a combination of the style of the tying-helpless-damsels-in-distress-to-train-tracks silent movie villain and Mark Spitz, Pavano’s soup strainer is rocketing up the rankings of most stylistic performance in the area of facial hair by a major league baseball player.

Some background (via the Pioneer Press):

Pavano started growing the mustache toward the end of the Twins’ 2-5 road trip to the American League East in May. He did it, he said, to lighten the mood after a tough stretch of games. And he’s keeping it, he said, despite the dark patch of facial hair terrifying his young daughter early on and drawing considerable ribbing from no doubt all sides of the clubhouse.

Told on Wednesday night that Gardenhire said the mustache made Pavano look mean, the starter laughed.

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s what he said,” he said. “That’s not what he’s telling me.”

And it appears to be working. Last night, Pavano went 8 innings, surrendered only 6 hits and 2 earned runs in the Twins’ 8-2 victory over the Royals, evening his season record at 6-6. When asked how long he intended on keeping the ‘stache, Pavano said, “Probably forever.” I like the guy’s dedication. As a Twins fan, hopefully, come October, Pavano will still be on a tear and look a little something like this. Now that would be something. Below are a couple of more photos of Pavano rocking the mustache for your admiration. Keep it up, man.

Note: You might be asking yourself, “What is up with the last photo on the right of the crotch shot of the USC Song Girl?” I thought the same thing when I did an Google image search for “Carl Pavano Mustache”. Just thought I would include it as a little treat.

What’s not to like about Carl Pavano? [Pioneer Press]