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Wake N’ Blog: Offering A $1,000 Reward For A $20 Doormat Is A Perfectly Sensible Thing To Do

Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s Harold W. McGraw Prize in Education-winning morning link dump. You know, for kids! Send tips, links and whatnot to That’ll learn ya.

•  Advanced Medical Technologies, a metal building business in Washington, is offering a $1,000 reward for the safe return of the company’s beloved doormat. The company assumes the heinous crime may just be a prelude to this maniacal thief’s ultimate goal of breaking into the business. Alright. [AP]

• The former little league teammates of pitching phenom of Stephen Strasburg paint him as a chubby, whiny little bitch. [Out of Bounds]

• Speaking of Strasburg, here are 10 observations from his phenomenal major league debut. [Mr. Irrelevant]

•’s Stephen Strasburg headline fail. [Sharapova’s Thigh]

• The top 10 takeaways from Stephen Strasburg’s debut. [Five Tool Tool]

• Here are some words of advice for Stephen Strasburg from players who have been down the same road before. [Joe Sports Fan]

• Finally, an insightful analysis of…what’s his name’s first major league start. [Big League Stew]

• No link here, but just wanted to point out that I will likely not mention Stephen Strasburg again on the Sportress today. Whee!

• Holy crap! There was an NBA Finals game on last night? Huh. [Ball Don’t Lie]

• Players on the Baltimore Ravens better stop snitchin’ if they know what’s good for them. [With Leather]

• Woody Harrelson kicks game-winning penalty kick in some celebrity soccer game, proceeds to thumb his nose at Gary’s Old Towne Tavern. [Outside the Boxscore]

• Here’s your NCAA Softball Tournament update that’s kind of sort of not really but yeah about the NCAA Softball Tournament. [Bootlegger Sports]

• Marion Barber is one tough sumbitch. [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]

• Weightlifter attempts to squat a ridiculous amount of weight, promptly pukes. [The Last Angry Fan]

• The 7 worst athlete songs of all-time. [Sports Pickle]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Archaeologists: Egyptian Pyramids Actually Early Attempt At Camping