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Wake N’ Blog: I Poop In Your Soda! I Poop It Up!

Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s Lenin Prize-winning morning link dump, which is pretty cool since the award hasn’t been given out since 1990. Or is that bad? Huh. Anyhoo, send tips, links and communist propaganda to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com, comrades.

• A New Jersey high school student has admitted to pooping in a classmate’s soda can and then laughing it up after the poopeater took a sip and spit it out, much to the delight of everyone else in class. A charge of aggravated assault was dropped in exchange to a guilty plea of tampering with a food product. From the AP report: “A judge ordered the boy to serve probation, serve 200 hours of community service, write a letter to the victim to apologize — and to write a 1,000-word report on why it’s unhealthy to ingest fecal matter.” Ah, man – he has to write a report? That’s crappy! [Yahoo!/AP]

• England’s national soccer coach is watching you have sex. [Out of Bounds]

• Hoo boy, umpire Jim Joyce really screwed the pooch last night. What? You haven’t heard about it yet? Don’t you watch The Today Show? [Bob’s Blitz]

• A fantastic breakdown of all that went down last night by Detroitians. Poor Armando Galarraga. [Detroit4Lyfe]

Nevertheless, Jim Leyland still doesn’t want instant replay in baseball. But he would like smoking back. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Jim Joyce throughout history. [Joe Sports Fan]

• The top 10 takeaways from Joyce blowing the call. [Five Toolt Tool]

• So long, Ken Griffey, Jr. [Big League Stew]

• And shame on you for stealing Galarraga’s spotlight! [Walkoff Walk]

• The agony and the ecstasy of overtime for the Philadelphia Flyers in their thrilling victory last night and how it is related to Jim Joyce blowing that call. Just kidding. [Puck Daddy]

• The 1/3 season All-Star team (selected by Jim Joyce). [More Hardball]

• Wayne Rooney really wanted that last Tiger Beer (after watching Jim Joyce blow that call). [Outside the Boxscore]

• 2K Sports has confirmed that Jordan is the cover boy on NBA 2K11. Not Jim Joyce? Huh.  [FirstCuts]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Binge Drinking, Promiscuous Sex Good For You, Says New Orleans Journal Of Medicine