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Minor League Baseball

Minor League Promotion ‘Jersey Shore Night’ May Be Lamest Idea Ever

The end is nigh. Kill me now.

Even though the decline of Western Civilization has been going on for centuries, one does not have to look any further than the televised atrocity that is Jersey Shore. And this is coming from a person who has never seen one friggin’ second of that heaping mass of reality show afterbirth covered in hair gel and cocaine boogers.

In any event, here’s the scoop: the Omaha Royals, the Triple-A affiliate of the Kansas City Royals (I see they are as original in giving themselves a name as they are inept at coming up with promotions) have come with the worst. promotion. ever.

Yep, Jersey Shore Night.

Fans who come to the gate with a blowout or a Snooki-like “bump” hairdo get into the ballpark free of charge. Royals fans who bring a bottle of hair gel or a receipt showing they went tanning also get in to see the Royals play the Colorado Springs Sky Sox Thursday night without opening their wallets.

In between innings, a “fist-pump” cam will capture fans dancing to techno music. The team partnered with local gyms, tanning salons and laundromats to provide coupons so Nebraskans will be able to save a little cash next time they “GTL.”

As I mentioned above, I have never watched the show so I have no idea what any of that means, but it sounds ridiculous.

Ben Hemmen, promotions manager for the Omaha Royals, what say you?

“We have Big Lebowski and Jimmy Buffett coming up,” said Ben Hemmen, the team’s promotions manager. “We just did Wizard of Oz.”

I’ll give them credit for the Big Lebowski promotion and the Wizard of Oz – those aren’t bad. Crap, I’d even prefer to be forced to listen to a bunch of Omahamians bellowing out “Margaritaville” for nine grueling innings than see chicks dress up like Dookie or Pukie or whatever the hell that skank’s name is. Come on, Omaha Royals, look to your minor league cousin to the north, the St. Paul Saints, and see how they go about handling their promotions.

‘Jersey Shore Night’ with the minor-league Omaha Royals [New York Daily News]