Dear God No: Diego Maradona Says He Will Go Streaking If Argentina Wins World Cup

In a nightmare fuel vision to lay to waste and obliterate any nightmare-fueled scenario which has preceded it, Argentine manager Diego Maradona  pledged on a radio show that if Argentina wins the World Cup, he will shed his muumuu, tent or whatever figure-flattering outfit he may have draped over him and run naked through the streets of Buenos Aires. GAH!

“If we win the World Cup, I will run naked around the EL Obelisco in the center of Buenos Aires,” Maradona said live on air.

So…cold…so very, very cold…

I considered doing a bit of research into the particulars regarding the likelihood of Argentina somehow managing to win the World Cup, but I am having a bit of difficulty seeing my monitor now that I have doused my eyes with liquid bleach. Sure, it may have been an ill-advised move on my part, considering that it might not even occur, but my thoughts on the subject are that sometimes it’s better to take drastic measures simply as a precaution for such a terrifying eventuality, no matter how improbable it might be.

So, in other words: Go Canada! They’re in the World Cup, right? No? Huh. Luxembourg?

Maradona pledges to go on naked run if Argentina wins World Cup [Ria Novosti]