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Wake N’ Blog: If I Had A Nickel Every Time I Was Found By Cops Drunk And Naked In A Stranger’s Tub…

Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s morning link dump. It’s a trip, it’s got a funky beat and I can bug out to it! Send groovy tips and links to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.

• …I’d have forty-five cents, but when you think about it, that’s quite a few times to be drunk in a stranger’s tub. Hopefully, this 18-year-old from South Haven, Indiana learns his lesson the first time. He was discovered at 5:00 a.m. on Sunday in the bathroom with the door locked by the home’s owner and was arrested on felony residential entry and misdemeanor underage drinking charges. Yeesh. [Yahoo!/AP]

• Apparently, Paul Pierce’s Twitter account was hacked last night. [Larry Brown Sports]

• And Dwight Howard responded to said fake tweet by quoting scripture. [You Been Blinded]

•  Reunited and it feels so good: Dennis Green and Daunte Culpepper might be back together again in the UFL. [RandBall]

• Chad Ochocinco was eliminated from Dancing With The Stars. [Outside the Boxscore]

• Who wouldn’t want a t-shirt featuring a Wendy’s/Oakland Raiders mashup? [FirstCuts]

• Zito’s Unicorn is the newest internet meme. [Out of Bounds]

• Congrats to the Washington Wizards for winning the NBA Draft Lottery, the biggest sucker deal in sports. [Ball Don’t Lie]

• A one-year-old snowboarder? [With Leather]

• The top 10 complaints of Florida Marlins malcontent Hanley Ramirez. [Five Tool Tool]

• The triumphant return of Pacman Jones to KSK. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

• Video of two high school seniors combining for a rare double alley-oop. [The Dagger]

• The Rocky Top Tramp Stamp. [Friends of the Program]

• The 7 types of pictures that will haunt you on Facebook. [Guyism]

The Onion Headline of the Day: New Study Confirms Humans Only Use 10% Of Genitalia