Sportress of Blogitude

Why Didn’t Hilary Duff Wear Her Sadie Hawkins Flannel Like Fiance Mike Comrie?

You know, Miss Duff, I am aware that you are a big time Hollywood starlet, what with your star-making turns in Lizzie McGuire and Cheaper By The Dozen (parts 1 and 2). Still, just because you have an image to uphold does not mean you ask your boyfriend, Edmonton Oilers center Mike Comrie, to go with you to the Sadie Hawkins dance and then not wear your matching flannel shirt when you stop and take in a Lakers playoff game on the way to the dance. Sheesh.

Further, why is a 22-year-old woman going to a high school dance anyway? That’s weird.

Anyhoo, the Canuckistani paparazzi was in full force last night at the Lakers-Suns game when they snapped not one, but ten photos of the couple (whom I have dubbed DuffCom 2, but have yet to trademark) courtside at the Staples Center.

Unfortunately, the story about the two in The Vancouver Sun came up woefully short in the juicy detail area, so your Friendly Neighborhood Blogger-Man is going to give his Bloggey Sense a good workout and attempt to ascertain the give-and-take going on between the cute couple.

As any man who has taken his special lady to a sporting event can attest, sometimes all your better half wants to do instead of watching the game is chit chat. Let’s take our best guess at what Miss Hilary had to say to Comrie when the photos were snapped.

“I’m sorry, honey. I’ll try not to laugh. But really? Chest waxing? And what happened to all the buttons?

“See?  It is funny, isn’t it? You waxed your chest! That’s silly!”

“No. Waxing your lip would not be a good idea. Mike, sometimes, it’s like I don’t even know you.”

“Yes. They did cast me as Bonnie Parker in a new “Bonnie & Clyde” movie! What do you know anyway?”

“Yes you are going to the premiere with me…who’s my little angel lover? Peek-a-boo!”

“Look over there. Even though Joel is with Nicole Richie now, he can’t stop staring…jealous much?”

“No, I don’t know why I keep tilting my head like this…maybe it makes my brain feel bigger.”

“Thanks for switching seats with me, Mike. David Arquette kept farting.”

“How could you say that? It is not ‘whoever smelt it, dealt it.’ I’m going to keep smiling, though. For my fans, not for you.”

“I’m sorry, sweetie. It’s just so stressful being a middling actress whose best years have passed you by and you’re only in your early twenties. Let me make it up to you. Remember what I did for you in our hotel room that day when the paparazzi were photographing us?”

“How about we do that here? Right here. Right now.”

Fin.

Comrie, Duff get cosy at Lakers game [The Vancouver Sun]