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Wake N’ Blog: I Love Rock ‘N Roll, So Don’t Stab Me When I Put Another Dime In The Jukebox, Baby

Wake N’ Blog is the Sportress of Blogitude’s Tony Award-winning morning link dump. It has the theater in its blood. Also coursing through its veins: a nearly-lethal mix of uppers, downers and something the guy said would kill the bugs from crawling on its skin. We shall see. Send tips and links to weedagainstspeed@gmail.com.

• After throwing an ashtray when the owner of a bar would not turn up the volume on the jukebox, 33-year-old John Wetzel was in the process of being escorted out of the Bismarck, North Dakota bar when he stabbed the owner. If I informed you that the song playing on the jukebox was “Party In The USA” by Miley Cyrus, would the assault be more or less justifiable? Not that I have any idea whether or not that was in fact the song, I’m just curious. [MSNBC/AP]

• Controversy is brewing regarding the Olympic Village condos in Vancouver that were supposed to be converted to low income housing. [Out of Bounds]

• The top 10 lucky charms you might see busted out at tonight’s NBA draft lottery. [Total Pro Sports]

• General Tao wrote a heartfelt letter to Montreal. [Food Court Lunch]

• Not shocking, but still despicable: NASCAR fan wears racist shirt at Talladega. [Bob’s Blitz]

• Jim Rome is talking out of his ass again. This time, it’s about the LeBron/Calipari rumors. [straitpinkie]

• The missed dunk by Shannon Brown from last night that you have to see. [That NBA Lottery Pick]

• MYFO breaks down the NHL Western Conference Finals. [Melt Your Face Off]

• Did The Onion go too far with this George Karl story? [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]

• Screaming Flyers fan scares the crap out of analyst Pierre McGuire. [Outside the Boxscore]

• The top 10 next careers for Terrell Owens. [Five Tool Tool]

• Apparently, we need more kids cluttering up golf courses. [Devil Ball Golf]

• In light of the above news, Ryan Ballengee writes about what got him into golf as a kid. [Waggle Room]

The Onion Headline of the Day: Heckled Christian Rock Band Knows How Jesus Felt