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Sportress of Blogitude

Lambeau Field Just The Victim Of The Green Bay Drive-By

If has only taken 20 years, but the drive-by shooting has finally reached the idyllic setting of Green Bay, Wisconsin. The victim? Lambeau Field.

NO!

Referring to the drive-by as “random and isolated,” police suspect that sometime on late Sunday evening, some unknown thugs went “Rat-tat-tat-tat like that (Wisconsinites never hesitate to put a bullet through the glass)” on Lambeau, leaving two bullet holes in the atrium of the legendary stadium. A review of security tapes revealed little information, although authorities suspect the heinous act is connected to another drive-by at a Green Bay gas station earlier that Sunday evening. That’s some mighty fine police work there, Lou.

Citizens should not be afraid to visit the Football Mecca in the daytime, assures local resident Peter Richlen, grandson of Ellsworth Richlen, who was taking Peter to see the stadium but instead walked right into a grisly crime scene. Broken glass and whatnot.

“If someone’s going to take a shot at a public place like this it’s probably going to be in the late, late evening when there’s no witnesses,” said Peter Richlen. “You don’t really do something like that if there is going to be a lot of people around. So I don’t feel threatened being inside there if it’s daylight.”

Nor should you, young Peter. Nor should you. If there’s one thing I have learned from watching gang-banger movies, it is only when a person tries to escape the senseless violence of the ‘hood that will they ultimately succumb to the cruel and heartless Code of the Street, and we all know that no one ever leaves Green Bay. No matter how bad it gets, the ‘hood is in their blood.

Bullet holes in Lambeau Field Atrium [WLUK-TV]