Sportress of Blogitude

Falling Somewhere Between USA For Africa And Hear ‘N Aid Stand The Folks Behind ‘Please Stay LeBron’

Dear. God.

A veritable cavalcade of who’s who among Cleveland wheelers and dealers showed up a couple of weeks ago to record the soulful, tongue-in-cheek sendup of USA for Africa’s “We Are The World,” aptly entitled, “Please Stay LeBron.”

Among the esteemed participants included Cleveland Browns Super fan, John “Big Dawg” Thompson, Slider, Cleveland Indians Mascot Slider and as my colleague Rick Chandler points out, the one, the only, ambusher of library masturbators, the great Carl Monday!

Video after the jump. Be prepared.

First, the lyrics, so you can sing along:

There comes a time, when a decision
must be made Will the King, move on or will he stay?
We’re helplessly waiting, as we hold our breath in fear
Should we renew, our tickets for next year?

Please stay LeBron
We really need you
No bigger market’s gonna love you half as much as we do
It’s a choice you’re making, will you go or will you stay….

What will we do with that big sign, if you move away?
Just tell us King, what changes we must make
We’ll rename every street “LeBron” if that’s what it takes….
New York’s overcrowded
Those people are unbearable
And don’t forget, the Knicks and Nets are terrible….

Please stay LeBron, we really need you
No bigger market’s gonna love you half as much as we do…
It’s a choice you’re making
You’re saving our downtown
And Cleveland is a better place, with you around

Fantastic. Needs more Huey Lewis, though.

* Note: For those of you too young or not enough of a headbanger, Hear ‘N Aid was the heavy metal community’s answer to USA for Africa, featuring the likes of Ronnie James Dio, Don Dokken, Mick Mars, Rob Halford, Vince Neil, Ted Nugent and the great David St. Hubbins – and the results were…terrible.

Cleveland celebrities gather for heartrending ‘We Are LeBron’ tribute video [Out of Bounds]
“WE ARE LEBRON” [Pitch Legend]