Epidemic Of Fan-On-Field Mania Spreads To Chicago, Taser Not Needed
Just like in the movie Outbreak, when that monkey virus spread across America after that McWhatever dude from that hospital show sneaked an infected primate into the country, the contagious affliction which causes fans at baseball games to run out on the field is spreading, and if left unchecked, could very well destroy the baseball world as we know it. Authorities hoped they could isolate the Idiotic Fan Syndrome (or IFS, for short) to the Eastern seaboard, but it looks like it is about to run rampant right through Middle America.
Some might say the above statement is hyperbolic to which I would reply, “Stop making up words, dude.” Then I would say that this is rapidly developing into a real problem and will only become more virulent with each passing day and with each successive moron who foolhardily makes a break for it.
Last night, during the sixth inning of the White Sox-Blue Jays game at U.S. Cellular Field, some knucklehead afflicted with IFS dropped down onto the field and caused a minor ruckus. Ultimately, the individual was subdued after he was surrounded by six security guards and handcuffed. No tasering necessary.
Well done, U.S. Cellular Field security personnel. Now if you could only prevent bouts of Skanko-Roman wrestling from occurring in the bathrooms, you’d be hot to trot.
Fan subdued without Taser at U. S. Cellular Field [Chicago Breaking Sports]
White Sox Fans Be Bangin’ In Restroom [With Leather]