Sportress of Blogitude

The Nicknames For Tim Tebow Created By Fans Are Predictably Terrible

Maybe now would be an appropriate time for everyone riding the Tim Tebow Bandwagon to take a deep breath, take a step back and slow down a little bit before the whole damn thing spirals out of control in a uncontrollable frenzy.

Not only was Tim Tebow’s Broncos No. 15 jersey the number one-selling jersey on the NFL’s website despite the fact that he wasn’t drafted until April 22nd, apparently there was already a poll conducted by ESPN to determine the best nickname to give the guy who hasn’t done jack squat yet but tell everyone how truly blessed he feels about every goddamn thing in his life.

The number one nickname according to a bunch of goofballs who participate in ESPN polls?

The Mile-High Messiah.

Yep. I reckon Tim Tebow would not appreciate the sacrilegious nature of the nickname, but there you go.

After the jump, the remaining nine Tim Tebow nicknames according to a nation of woodheads.

1. The Mile-High Messiah — First suggested by Eric M., Kingsport, Tenn.; Dan L., Austin, Texas; and Andrew B., New York City.

2. Tebench — Nick S., Rochester, N.Y.

3. Uno Cinco — Anthony F., Philadelphia.

4. Capt. Snipit — Jason G., Longwood, Fla.

5. The Big Tebowski — Josh C., Canastota, N.Y. and Tim C., San Diego.

6. Tebowlicious — Mary-Jane K., Madison, Ala.

7. Clipboard — Joe M., Navarre, Fla. and Capt. Clipboard — Jess C., Savannah, Ga.

8. The Unicorn — “Because only women and defensive ends of pure virtue will be able to touch him” — Steve R., Ottawa, Ontario.

9. Media Messiah — Ryan K., Chowan University.

10. Timmmmaaaay — “South Park salute” — Sammy M., Beaumont, Texas; Daryn H., Stevens Point, Wisc.; and Josh W., Asheville, N.C.

Heh. Tebench. I’m actually quite impressed that took the number two spot. Well done, people.

Some other nicknames that didn’t quite make the top 10 cut:

A few more that just missed are “Straight Arrow,” Bill P., Tualatin, Ore.; “T-Squared,” Daniel B., Rome, Ga.; “New T(estament),” Joe D., Sherwood, Ore.; “Heaven’s Heisman,” Michael C., Charleston, S.C.; “Docile Apostle,” Casey M., Columbia, S.C.; and “Tool Man,” Jorge R., Tulare, Calif..

All in all, not too shabby, but I would have preferred to see more derogatory monikers for the unproven quarterback. I’m sure the readers of this here site could come up with better options. Suggestions?

Fans come up with Tebow nicknames [ESPN]
Tim Tebow leads NFL in jersey sales [The Fabulous Forum]