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PGA Golf

After Employing Lame Pick-Up Line And A Night Of Banging, Tiger Would Get His Froot Loops On

Big news today from long-running and respected sports periodical Us Magazine via an interview published in sports tome Vanity Fair with exotic dancer and one of many paramours, Cori Rist, excerpts of which were published in the New York Post (deep breath): according to Miss Rist, the Woodsman enjoyed a nice, big bowl of Kellogg’s Froot Loops and some cartoonage after a rousing round of coitus.

Rist, who became one of Woods’ many mistresses, said he then invited her to come up to the apartment of a “superstar ball player,” where he had a room.

The sex was “passionate — fireworks,” she told the magazine. Afterward, Woods liked to eat Fruit Loops and watch cartoons.

Froot Loops? I would have suspected Frosted Flakes, for obvious reasons. Oh, and there’s one more little nugget of interest from the interview: it’s been a well-known fact for some time, but Tiger Woods was still using one of the worst pickup lines ever when he courted Rist:

“What’s this?” he’d ask, rubbing the tips of his shoes together. “A black guy taking off his condom.”

He told the joke in 1997 in front of a GQ reporter, and even though he took flak for it then, he was still using it in 2006 when he hit on exotic dancer Cori Rist…

Weak. Sauce. Although I am more intrigued Tiger’s choice of breakfast cereal and cartoon-watching. What cartoons did he watch? Was he an old school Looney Tunes kind of guy? Muppet Babies? He-Man? Or did his palate for cartoons tend to gravitate to more modern fare? So many questions. One last thing: is it possible that instead of Sam Snead, Tiger’s daughter was named after Toucan Sam, the avian mascot of his favorite post-coital cereal? Hey, anything is possible with this guy.

Tiger Woods Liked to Eat “Froot Loops” After Sex, Says Mistress [Us Magazine]
Tiger’s pick-up line a joke [New York Post]