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Albert Pujols’ ‘Lollygagglegate’ Sure To Tear Apart Close-Knit Sports Community

In sports, there are controversies and then there are “holy crap, won’t somebody think of the children/things will never be the same ever again” controversies.

Fox Sports Midwest, the local provider of St. Louis Cardinals games in Missourah, finds itself in the eye of the storm after the events of last Monday. It started off innocuous enough when Cardinals superstar Albert Pujols crushed a ball to deep left field. The drive just missed clearing the fence and Pujols was subsequently thrown out at second base on the play. FSM analyst Al Hrabosky speculated that Pujols must have assumed he got enough of the ball to knock it out of the park. Although Hrabosky did not outright say it, it can be inferred that he believed Pujols wasn’t running out the play with maximum effort and his casual trot around the bases resulted in him being tagged out at second base.

But this is where it gets conspiratorial, people. FSM never showed a replay of this supposed lollygagging by Pujols, inspiring accusations that the network was covering up for the team’s best player.

GASP! A cover-up! Jinkies!

Not so fast, so says Tom Mee, director of the telecast. In fact, it’s downright hooey, as hooey is a very popular term for St. Louisianiteicans.

Via the St. Louis Post-Dispatch:

“Nothing could be farther from the truth, and it insults me that people would think that,” he said. “I respect the game too much. Our responsibility in the truck is to respect the game. That’s something we take pride in. Anybody who thinks differently doesn’t know what they’re talking about.

“There is absolutely no way that we would not show something to try to protect anybody,” he said. “It would affect the integrity” of the game and telecast.”

Just a bit too convenient if you ask me, wouldn’t you agree? I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there’s something fishy going on here, and we should not rest until we get to the bottom of Lollygagglegate. The damage that could be done to the good people of the St. Louis sports fan community could be extreme and potentially irreversible. I tell ya, every layer you peel away, the more it stinks. Kind of like an onion, but even more like a two dollar whore one would pick up on the docks. So I’ve heard.

‘Cover-up” talk irks director of St. Louis Cardinals telecasts [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]