Sportress of Blogitude


Which Is Worse: A Police Probe Or A Rape Probe?

A couple of soccer players over in England – Stephen Carr and Nolberto Solano – have gotten themselves into a wee bit of trouble recently.

What did they allegedly do? I don’t know, I didn’t read the stories. I’m a busy man, people. But what intrigued me about these stories is how they dole out justice – or at least how they investigate cases – over in Merry Old England.

As you can see above, Stephen Carr was probed by police in connection with some nonsense he pulled on the pitch.

And if you think that sounds uncomfortable, Nolberto Solano didn’t fare much better.

Yeesh. A police probe sounds bad enough, but a rape probe? I don’t even know exactly what that means, but clearly it is done without a person’s consent. I suppose a police probe is done without consent as well, but it somehow seems more authoritative and controlled, like there are standard operating procedures for it.

Huh. This is quite the conundrum. I’m not sure which one is worse, although I’m pretty sure both are very painful and incredibly demeaning. But I am sure of one thing: police probes and rape probes got nothing on alien anal probes – those extraterrestrials got some wickedly scary looking instruments. You have seen Fire in the Sky, haven’t you? Poor, poor D.B. Sweeney. I don’t care if it was a movie, that stuff was scary. I bet D.B. still wakes up from nightmares about filming that movie in his cot at the YMCA.

Carr facing police probe after gesture at Villa fans [ESPN]
Leicester and ex-Newcastle star Solano in rape probe [BBC]