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Wake N’ Blog: Woman Runs Down, Kills Man Who Threw Cheeseballs At Her Car

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• Sarah May Ward, a 39-year-old woman from Sydney, Australia, has been sentenced to 25 years in prison after she ran over and killed 21-year-old Eli Westlake after the kid threw cheeseballs at her car. When the incident occurred, Ward was a little off her rocker, which usually occurs when a person “two bottles of wine and used cannabis, amphetamine drugs and anti-depressants before getting into her car in Sydney’s northern suburbs on June 7, 2008.” Yeah. The moral of the story? Eat Cheetos. No way a person in their right mind would willingly waste those delicious morsels of cheesy goodness. [Yahoo!/Reuters]

• Help BC identify the Naked Notre Dame Grass Bangers. It’s your civic duty. [Busted Coverage]

• Elin may be back in Sweden permanently. I heard she picked up a few evening shifts at IKEA to make ends meet. [Out of Bounds]

• There was a handshake fail at the White House yesterday when the Yankees met with President Obama. [Bugs & Cranks]

• Former NFL quarterback (if you could call what he did quarterbacking) was arrested and charged with two counts of simple assault after attacking his wife. [Deuce of Davenport]

• Some guy named Tito Ortiz – I guess he’s in MMA or something – has been arrested on felony domestic assault charges for allegedly attacking his girlfriend, porn star Jenna Jameson. [Guyism]

• ESPN NHL analyst Barry Melrose is a goddamn hippie. [The Sports Report Girl]

• Joe Mauer will be featured on E:60 tonight. [SOOZE!]

• Butter Chicken has a vendetta against Hoop Hype’s 2010 NBA Mock Draft. [Food Court Lunch]

• The worst throwback jerseys ever. [Larry Brown Sports]

• Today in 1983, Nolan Ryan recorded his 3,510th strikeout, besting Walter “Big Train” Johnson’s 56-year-old record. Yeah, both those guys were alright pitchers. [Joe Sports Fan]

The Onion Headline of the Day: (Video) Jockey Liam Hollins The Favorite To Brutally Whip Horse To Kentucky Derby Win