Sportress of Blogitude

Rick Reilly Will Love To Masticate On The Details Of Latest NFL Sexual Assault Case

Not to make light of what appears to be a pretty sticky situation for Indianapolis Colts defensive tackle Eric Foster, who is now facing allegations that he sexually assaulted a 22-year-old college student the night before the AFC Championship game in January, but the initial details which are emerging could spell a dental joke boon for ESPN hack columnist Rick Reilly.

In a civil lawsuit, the woman accuses Foster of sexual assault, battery, false imprisonment and intentional infliction of emotional distress.

Her suit alleges the assault happened Jan. 24 at University Place Hotel at Indiana University-Purdue University in Indianapolis. The woman is a student at the school and a receptionist at the hotel.

The suit alleges that Foster assaulted her when she delivered dental products to his room.

Dental products? That’s a new one. Sure, it lacks the panache or the “straight-from-a-pornlines” story of Ben Roethlisberger’s “Come Fix My Cable” escapades in Reno, Nevada, but I am aware of one person who will appreciate it, despite its association with potentially criminal behavior: Rick Reilly.

If you happen to be have made it this far in life blissfully unaware of Reilly’s propensity for dental-related humor, first of all, count yourself among the lucky ones. Secondly, here’s a primer on his obsession.

Now we sit and wait for Reilly to bite. The bait has been set and I see no way he will be able to refuse at least a nibble considering how this one has been so perfectly set up for him.

Colts defensive tackle Foster accused of Jan. 24 sexual assault [CBS Sports]
Rick Reilly’s Complete Dental Records [Slate]
(previously at the Sportress: Fixing The TV Only Turns Into Sex In Jackie Treehorn Movies, Ben Roethlisberger)