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At Least Jemele Hill Didn’t Suggest Tiger Woods Dress Up Like Hitler, That’s Good

Any time Jemele Hill writes a column that doesn’t reference Hitler or suggests on air that Green Bay Packers fans throw batteries at Brett Favre, I am sure ESPN considers it small victory. Upon first glance at Hill’s column, “Tiger Woods as villain? It’d work!”, I hoped it would be a tongue-in-cheek-ian dissertation making light of Tiger’s precipitous drop from the high regard most people used to feel towards him, but I really believe she’s dead serious in her argument. And to me, that’s borderline ricockulous.

The next time Tiger Woods plays on the PGA Tour, he should show up in black clothes and dark sunglasses. Steve Williams, his caddie, should carry a golf bag that has a scarlet “X” stitched on it.

Tiger should curse on the golf course enough to make Redd Foxx blush. He should put a Perkins restaurant sticker on his bag. He should throw his clubs like a javelin when he misses an easy putt. He should text-message in between shots. If a reporter asks him about his emotional state, Tiger should channel Bobby Knight and make a bunch of ridiculously juvenile faces.

Tiger should become a bad guy. He should be golf’s version of the WWE’s Triple H.

Well, Tiger was probably already taking those steroids he was supplied by that Canuckistani doctor, so he’s halfway there, right? Let us just pray that if Tiger decides to go the WWE route and become PGA Tour Enemy Number One, he doesn’t take it  too far and go into full-on roid-rage mode, a la the Ultimate Warrior, and suggest that Phil Mickelson do himself in.  Yeah, that wouldn’t be good for anyone.

Tiger Woods as villain? It’d work! [ESPN]
ESPN Suspends Jemele Hill for Hitler Reference [BumpShack]
Ultimate Warrior: Hulk Should Do Himself In [TMZ]
(previously at the Sportress: Whipping Up A Fury, Dominating Flurry, Jemele Hill Creates The Battery?)