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Martha Stewart Would Like Derek Jeter To ‘Twitter’ Her You-Know-What

And by “Twitter” I mean “Stick His Herpified Peter In” and by “You-Know-What”, I of course mean  her old lady cooter. And by “herpified peter” I mean…

Ah, you guys get where I am going with it, so let’s move on.

Martha Stewart took in the Yankees’ matinee game against the Angels yesterday, and she took her Twitter to provide incredibly insightful observations regarding the game as the action took place in front of her. Technology, what can’t you do?

Clearly, the domestic goddess has taken a shine to Derek Jeter, as she let the cougar inside of  her loose as she voyeuristically snapped photos of the Yankees shortstop and uploaded them to the ‘tubes via TwitPic. Oh Martha, you naughty, naughty beast!

Better yet, Stewart is getting the hang of utilizing all the wonders of new technology and even asked her followers to “digg” her tweet announcing her unholy lust for Jeter. And her hankering for Bronx Bomber dong didn’t end with Jeter. She also uploaded photos of A-Rod and…

Keith Olbermann? Gross, Martha. That’s just nasty.

Martha Stewart tweets throughout Yankees home opener: ‘Derek looks really good’ [New York Daily News]