Breaking News: Rachel Nichols Breaks Breaking News About Big Ben’s Hair…
When a breaking news story is out there for the taking, ESPN’s Rachel Nichols reaches out, seductively caresses it with her milky-white, smooth hands…and…um…
Whoa. Sorry about that. Redheads, people.
Anyhoo, as you can plainly read in the above tweet from Miss Nichols (via Mondesi’s House), Nichols is comfortably on top, straddling the Roethlisberger story. Not only is she reporting that Big Ben just entered his meeting with Roger Goodell, she also has the most relevant scoop of the day regarding the Steelers quarterback: he got a haircut.
(breaks into song)
“Ben, why you go and cut your hair
Do you think it’s gonna make Rog change?
“You’re just a boy with a new haircut
And that’s a pretty nice haircut…”
Pavement, ladies and gentlemen! A great big round of applause!
Moving on with the story, what’s even better about Nichols intrepid, sexy Twitter reporting is that she next went into detail about the cut – was it a crew cut? A spike job? A bouffant pompadour? A Morrissey-inspired style?
Good to know. Thanks, Rachel. I look forward to her comprehensive report on the subject on the next E:60. But moving on, let’s talk about Rachel Nichols hair…level with us, Rachel: does the carpet match the drapes?
BEN ROETHLISBERGER GOT A HAIRCUT [Mondesi’s House]