Sportress of Blogitude

Ben Roethlisberger Looks Like The Guy Who Will Buy High Schoolers Booze

Seriously man, what possessed Ben Roethlisberger to show up to make his “apology” looking like that? He resembles that guy who dropped out of community college after a year and hangs out in the liquor store parking lot waiting to hear about the next high school beer bust. He’ll buy if you fly, dude.

At least get a goddamn haircut and bust out the Schick Quattro, Ben. You look like a friggin’ tool, man. One rogue gust of wind and Roethlisberger could probably end up with a hairstyle that would make Ernie McCracken jealous.

If you’re interested, video as well as text of Big Ern’s – er, Big Ben’s statement – after the jump.

Via the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:

“I’d like to begin by expressing gratitude for the thorough investigation process in Georgia and the prosecutor’s decision not to bring charges. I know without a doubt it is the right conclusion. I don’t intend to discuss any details related to the events in Georgia. I am happy to put this behind me and move forward.

“I am truly sorry for the disappointment and negative attention I have brought to my family, my teammates and coaches, the Rooneys and the NFL. I understand that the opportunities I have been blessed with are a privilege, and that much is expected of me as the quarterback of Pittsburgh Steelers. I absolutely want to be the leader this team deserves, valued in the community and a role model to kids. I have much work to do to earn this trust, and I am committed to improving and showing everyone my true values.

“I am excited to get back to work with my teammates, and I am more determined than ever to have a great season. I intend to make my family, friends and the Steeler Nation proud on all fronts.”

Jeez, he looks even worse in the video. Get this man a stylist. Or at least a baseball cap.

Steelers ponder suspension of Roethlisberger [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]